Okpakpa Ogheneruona Lauretta
AKA Queen Ronny.
It’s high time we stop justifying DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, ABUSE & HUMILIATION WITH THE LAME EXCUSE “NO MARRIAGE IS PERFECT”.
Let the focus not totally be on women as victims, some men are also victims, as some women are culprits in domestic violence. Domestic violence can be physical abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, financial deprivation, sexual abuse, mental abuse etc. A man doesn’t need to get beaten up by his wife before he becomes a victim of domestic violence. Lots of women are verbally provocative, they can bruise a man’s ego grossly by a demeaning statement or action, hence many men are verbally abused and mentally violated. While lots of women suffer domestic violence by being beaten up by their husbands, many men also suffer domestic violence through verbal abuse by their wives. It is even worse for the men because they suffer in silence, and can’t find the voice to discuss it.
As much as it is totally wrong for a man to hit a woman, it is also wrong for a man to be turned to a verbal punching bag. These set of women who abuse their husbands are raising daughters as well as sons, what kind of wives and husbands will they raise their kids to become? Don’t be the wife that indirectly sends her man to the bar daily or deflates his ego and self-esteem through your verbal missiles. The foul words from your mouth can break your man physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally.
Some characteristics of violent partners to look out for are; hot temper, very possessive, extremely jealous, constantly yells at you, forcibly have sex with you, threatens to hurt either or both of you if you make attempt to leave, destroys properties when upset, constantly monitors your every move, unsecured, low self-esteem and many more.
MEN: While courting, if you discover your girl friend repeatedly talks back at you without remorse, she hurts the man in you with her words rather than talk to you as a King, she spew words that forcibly give you reasons to think and act violently, these are warning signs for you to step back and call it quits. If she constantly rains verbal missiles at you, find the courage to walk away than live the rest of your life frustrated. Some women are rude and hot tempered, if you have such a woman, let her go, please don’t let her tempt you to domestically violate or even kill her. It is necessary to know what you can handle during courting, if you can’t stand a woman who abuses you verbally, do not push through to marriage. Forever is too long to be spent in a miserable way. There is no excuse whatsoever to hit a woman. Ephesians 5:25.
WOMEN: While courting, if you discover he has a problem with anger management, if he’s always violent during heated arguments, if he ever raises his hands on you, even though he apologizes later, those are signs. Emotionally bonding with an abuser is a strategy to survive for victims of intimidation and abuse which is totally wrong. If he hits you once, there’s a great tendency he will hit you again. Find the courage to walk away because it won’t stop. If he hits you as a girl friend, he could kill you as a wife. It’s better to leave alive than dead. Quit the excuse of your kids as a reason to stay back, because when you die, those kids will be left without you and their lives will go on.
A few months ago, Lagos State Government launched a short service code that would afford residents the opportunity of reporting cases of domestic violence, sexual abuse, child abuse and other related offenses with ease. This initiative is to enable victims reach out to the appropriate agencies and receive timely information. Simply dial the code *6820# and follow through with the interactive menu browser.
It’s high time the Nigerian Government passed a law against domestic violence, because it is slowly becoming a trend and lives are being lost in the process.
All the same, learn to respect him/her. Protect him/her. Please him/her. Love him/her.